This guy is mysterious, compassionate, fun and funny—an irresistible combo to women if he didn’t totally fumble it with “Attraction Killer” #2! Okay, so you know the drill by nowtake the quiz so you don’t make the ONE mistake that could kill your online dating chances. Nov 23, 2019 - Explore Si's board 'Funny dating profiles', followed by 143 people on Pinterest. See more ideas about funny dating profiles, funny, tinder humor.

If you’ve been online dating for any amount of time, you’ve seen bad profiles. They’re either sparse, copied from someone more clever, use The Office as a character trait, or are completely blank. Then, you come across the perfect profile. It might be five words, three paragraphs, or a hilarious photo, but either way you’re in stitches. We’ve scoured the internet (and the best dating apps) to pull together a list of some of the funniest dating profiles.

These 13 short dating site bio examples really work – you’ll be getting more matches and messages in no time. But what if you could get even better results, without spending endless amounts of time swiping or struggling to write the perfect message? After all, having an irresistible profile is just the beginning. Best Clever, Cute and Funny Bumble Bios for Your Dating App Profile Sometimes, online dating apps can be tricky to navigate. You know you're about to get judged by your photos (after all that is a big part of the premise of online dating apps like Bumble and Tinder), but you still want your personality to shine through in your bio.

1. The Truth

You’re smart. This ain’t your first rodeo. And You’re not about to fall for the preposterous claims made by so many of the profiles on this site. So here’s a refreshing perspective—the truth.

I pay my mortgage. I wear socks that match. I’m an honest man, with a decent career and strong values. So While I could regale you with stories of my trips to Paris or how I resemble Ryan Gosling…I know that good communication’s a foundation for every relationship. So if we’re on the same wavelength, read on…

2. Exaggeration

I am a rocket scientist. I’ve appeared on the cover of GQ—twice. And after mastering Italian, I became an international super spy. Right now, I’m yachting my way across the Caribbean, stealing top-secret information, and sipping mai tais…shaken, not stirred.

…Okay, fine. I exaggerated *just* a smidge. But I do like a good mai tai and I got a B+ in my 5th grade science class.

3. Blurbs

“He’s a beast…in the kitchen” – Food & Wine

“Our go-to guy for fashion advice” – GQ

“I wish he was my personal trainer.” – The Hulk

“God made him so firemen would have a hero” – every fireman ever

“I’m so glad she swiped right” – your mom

What else do you need to know?

4. J/K!

Married with a baby on the way. Prefer the term “collector” to “hoarder.” Bonus points if you can look after my gerbil collection.

And: J/K! Single consultant who loves surfing. Into daily exercise so I don’t feel guilty when I grab ice cream.

Your turn…Do you prefer swimming, dancing, or a 24-hour Netflix marathon?

5. A Few of My Favorite Things

I like…

The Frito smell of dog paws.

When I randomly decide to call an old friend and they say “I was just thinking about you!”

The way little kids get grumpy and confused when they’re tired.

That moment I get that Bumble BOOM! Message, and know someone I liked is into me too.

6. Goblin

Passionate goblin with 10+ years of experience, seeking to increase profitability for National Goblin Association. At — Goblin headquarters, slashed costs by 32% in 6 months by implementing Bloodletting training across all departments. Cut stockroom waste by 65% with new garbage binging techniques. Skilled in bone cleaning, whispering while in the dark, and proficient in Microsoft office.

7. The Girl You Can Take Home to Your Family

I’m the kinda girl you can take home to your family. I will then get closer to them than you are and we’ll slowly phase you out.

8. Alpha Male

I hope you like alpha males because I’m your guy. That’s right, I’m the whole package. I’ll defend your honor in public, won’t take shit from waiters, and I’ll even get you pregnant, leave, and then come back to eat the child.

9. Christmas Tree

My brother once put me through a Christmas tree wrapping machine then my parents put me in the boot for the ride home.

10. Best Travel Story

I was in New Orleans when the Eagles won the Super Bowl. Long story short, my nipple may or may not have been pierced.

11. Not Down to Earth

I’m not down to earth at al. If you don’t reply to my text I will turn up to your house drunk at 3 o’clock in the morning crying and trying to break in. I hate drinking tea and doing craft. I hate bicycles, the beach, sunshine, and parks. And Cider, I hate Cider.

12. Definitely Not a Murderer

My self-summary
I’m a fun loving guy and a self-starter who has absolutely no interest in committing murder. I’m looking for love, companionship, or just that one lovely evening (and rest assured that that one lovely evening will absolutely end with you back at your house, safe, and sound!) Let me take you into my magical world of not murdering anyone, ever, for any reason.

What I’m doing with my life
I’ll tell you this right up front: Certainly not murdering ANYONE, least of all you! Beyond that, mostly digging.

13. A Terrible Liar

My self-summary
Here are the quick and dirty facts so you can get back to clicking through my photos: I’m a terrible liar and an excellent +1. You can usually find me managing my investments, hitting the gym, or catching up with a friend over cocktails and tapas. And I’m incredibly judgemental…when it comes to T-bone steaks. Otherwise, I’m pretty easygoing. 😉

What I’m doing with my life
When I’m not in the ER, you can often find me visiting the kind of far flung destination that requires a passport. Remote locations like Santiago or Zanzibar have always spoken to me. But usually it’s in Spanish or Swahili…so I can’t understand a word they’re saying.

14. The Best Thing on the Internet

About Me

Ladies, your time has come. I’m serious – stop reading and message me right away, because I am the best thing that could ever happen to you on the internet. Better than gym selfies. Better than 14 Facebook likes. And even better than kitten GIFs. Okay, okay, maybe not better than those. Because what can top that?

If we’re being honest, I’m probably not really the “best thing” ever. I have falws too. First of all, I don’t have Jon Snow’s flowing locks. I sometimes wash my lights with my darks. And I never ask for directions – ever.

Maybe you can see past that thought? 😉

As for my career… Well, I got my first taste of what it means to be an entrepreneur when I was a kid, selling 25 cent cups of lemonade and giving away free extra-salty potato chips. I’ve since moved up to buying and selling Internet comapnies, but I still love Lay’s potato chips.

I’m a non-apologetic big city dweller at heart, but that doesn’t stop me from rounding up friends on a beautiful weekend and hitting the ski slopes, or grabbing my mountain bike for some trail riding. And I’m always thinking about my next trip… I hear good things about New Zealand.

As for the woman I’d like to meet… Your friends would describe you as “intelligent,” “ambitious,” and “kleptomaniacal”… Okay, maybe not the last one. And while I love potatoes in most of their forms, “couch potato” isn’t one of them. Physical fitness is important to you, as it is to me. And while you don’t have to host your own NatGeo show, having a few awesome travel stories wouldn’t hurt.

15. Cute and Smart

Respiratory Therapy Student

Cute enough to take your breath away, smart enough to bring it back.

16. Mat

I’m just hoping you don’t walk all over me 😉

17. Forever Single

I spend a lot of time thinking about

Will I be single all my life

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Best Funny Tinder Bios for Guys

Need the best funny Tinder bio? For guys, a good Tinder bio has to be funny, clever, and simple. If you’re a techie, choose a good, funny Tinder bio that’s a little geeky or nerdy. If you’re a gym rat, try something sports-related. Ultimately, the best Tinder bios for men reflect the personality of the man behind them.

The following potential Tinder bios are certifiably funny, clever, simple, and they’re not over-used. Feel free to swipe one and edit it however you like.

Winning Tinder Bios You Can Copy-and-Paste:

Clever

I would like to give thanks to the brave men and women who died a long time ago tasting which plants were edible and which plants were not.

Pick any number. Multiply it by two. Now add 12 to it. Divide it by 3. Now change it to 10. That’s how many seconds you just wasted.

How come Dora calls herself an “explorer” but travels exclusively through mapped territories?

Just remember, if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.

“I don’t know why people dislike jury duty. I think being able to play god with others’ lives sounds fun!”
– How I got out of jury duty

“Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people” is a quote that discusses people.

How many different animals did we have to jump on the backs of before we discovered horses were cool with it?

Somewhere in this world, someone is pulling on a door that says “PUSH.”

Geek/Nerd/Techie

Dear NASA, Your mom thought I was big enough. – Pluto

There’s no killer app I haven’t run / At Pascal, well, I’m number 1 / Do vector calculus just for fun / I ain’t got a gat but I got a soldering gun
(reference to Weird Al’s “White & Nerdy”)

Multilingual: English, binary, C++, JavaScript.

Turning ☕ into code.

Schrodinger’s Cat walks into a bar… and doesn’t.

Jock/Sports Fan/Gym Rat

I can do a pushup with you on my back.

Let’s go clubbing so you can see this protein shake. 🙂

Funny Dating Websites

If you win three games of Twister in a row you’re automatically a yoga instructor.

I was dropped as a baby (into a pool of awesomeness and bad-assery).

Any pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.

[TEAM NAME]: boo! hiss! [TEAM NAME]: we good

I prefer the out of doors.

Pop Culture

What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before getting married? Feyoncè.

If there is one person that’s gonna put an N’Sync song on at your house party, It’s Gonna Be Me.

… But Seriously: 99.9% of Tinder Success Is About Your Pics

💣 Tinder Bio + 😍 Tinder Pics = Tinder Matches & Dates 💋

Funny Bio Ideas For Dating Site

Before you waste your Tinder matches on the wrong photos, be sure to run them through Photofeeler.

Photofeeler tells you exactly how your Tinder pics are coming across to women (or men). It’s free to use here.

Funny Dating Site Names

Go to Photofeeler.com now and give it a try!

Romantic Ideas For Dating

See also:
Best Tinder Bios & Profile Tips
4 Types of Funny Tinder Bios